A Self-Reflection Journaling Moment

Lately I've been watching Lavendaire videos on YouTube nonstop. It's a website and blog created by Aileen Xu who is a Los Angeles lifestyle blogger. She gives great insights into how to find your passion. how to navigate your life and set yourself up for the ultimate success. I was drawn to her 30 Questions For Self Discovery By Lavendaire and I wanted to share a few of my favorite questions that really inspired me to think wholly about my life and my goals.

  • How do I feel at the moment?

    • I feel very happy about my life and the upcoming months. A lot is happening. In a couple of weeks, Terry starts his job as a programmer and we will be relocating to Orlando, which is exciting because we'll be living on our own, in our own place for the first time. I'm also happy because today was a productive day. Terry and I ran a few errands and went to Aldi's for our weekly grocery trip. I'm making more conscious decisions when it comes to our diets and making sure we're eating as much fresh food as possible. I feel inspired to get back to work on applying for jobs and figure out what's next for me in terms of my career.
  • What do I love about myself?

    • My hair, my smile and my empathy. I guess it's funny that my hair is the first thing I love about myself, but it's something that's a huge part of my identity. I've always loved my hair and I've gotten compliments on how thick and healthy it is. My smile is something I really appreciate because I did wear braces for 16 months when I was in the fourth and fifth grades. My mom and I both wore braces at the same time, so that was a unique bonding experience for us. The experience taught me to really value my oral hygiene. My empathy is something I've always had, but it's something that has grown over the years. I suppose it sounds strange and a bit self-imposing to talk about having empathy, but empathy is important quality to have. It's an emotion that goes beyond the surface-level of sympathy. I try to make sure I can empathize with others, especially when our opinions don't align or I don't understand where they're coming from. It's not always easy, but it pushes me to step off my judgment box.
  • What am I grateful for? List at least 10 things.

    • My mom and dad for giving a life that I couldn't have imagined I would ever have. 
    • Terry for being the rock I didn't know I needed.
    • My best friends I'll have for life: Eva, Kristen, Kayla, Lindy, Corinne and Laurel to name a few.
    • Education. As much as I wasn't a fan of school, I'm grateful I earned my college degree.
    • My love of reading and writing. I could've been drawn to anything, but I truly believe my mom's love of reading and her bookshelf of over 1000 books really fueled a love for it in myself.
    • Being Chinese. It took me a very long time to embrace my heritage, but last year, at 22 I decided to fully love where I was born and who I am. 
    • Dogs. They are the best animals and even better family members.
    • Paris, France. That city changed my life in more ways than I can count. I spent my high school years fascinated by all things French, and when I studied abroad in Paris when I was 17, I was purely and blissfully happy.
    • Tangled. Hear me out. That movie is hands-down my favorite animated film ever. It reminds me I'm never too old for Disney and to always live life as happily as possible.
    • Being alive. Life is fleeting and everyday you read a story about someone dying too young, dying tragically or dying suddenly. I'm grateful for living another day with the people I love.
  • What is something I’ve always wanted to do but was too scared?

    • Go to Los Angeles and audition for movies, TV shows, you name it. I took an acting workshop back when I was 15/16, and it was ran by this former casting director for Disney. I'm pretty sure she suggested I not pursue acting, but honestly I can't remember. I do remember feeling embarrassed to act out a scene from Hannah Montana, I believe we were in small groups and rotated the roles of Hannah, Jake and Nancy O'Dell. The workshop might've killed my Hollywood dreams for years, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't mind giving it a go again.
  • What advice would I give to my younger self? (Do I follow this advice now?)

    • Be more outgoing and don't give people so much power over how you see yourself. I'm trying to be less reserved, but I'm an introvert at heart. I gave people a lot of power back then and now, but today I appreciate and love who I am, and do not let people make me feel like I should be less Chinese or only Chinese. I felt like being Chinese put this huge label on me growing up. People expected me to be crazy smart. They were surprised I didn't speak Chinese. They were unsatisfied when I would say I'm from North Carolina or my family is from anywhere but an Asian country. I'm more than just Chinese; I am an American and  that's what I'll always be.

I hope you guys enjoyed my journaling exercise. I'd love to hear some of your answers to these same questions or any of the 25 other ones in Lavendaire's worksheet.